~.*innocence*.~

Friday, September 29, 2006

*[[ what if... ]]*

i just saw the vid on teohui's blog and thoughts went thru my head and i thought i might as well type it out..
what if ian and allison hadn't pulled in me into nypso? then things would be sooo much more different! i would still be playing for church service instead of being just another church member and i wouldn't have to console myself whenever they mention anything about the wmc trip because i wouldn't care! but because i AM in nypso, i DO care. life would have been much straighter if i hadn't been coerced into joining the band by those 2 ppl WHO HAVE PS-ED ME!! damn it. then i wouldn't have to face all this shitty ppl, my shitty job, and having to take whatever blows the laoshi throws at me. I'M LOUSY K? there goes the "if only"s again. like "if only i had joined opss band back then.." and what not. ARGH. WHY'S MY LIFE SO SCREWED UP? since i belong to neither here nor there, wtf should i do then?!

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/29/2006 01:10:00 am

*[[ was misled, thus misread ]]*

i had possibly the worst night's sleep ever last night. i took surprisingly long to get to slp and kept waking up several times and the cycle kept repeating. i guess i've finally decided to just forget about it like how i did the 1st time. =)

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/29/2006 12:50:00 am

~.* innocence *.~

Monday, September 25, 2006

*[[ the result of being "too free" ]]*

it's half past one in the morning and i'm just laying back, chilling out to my playlist and in deep thoughts. i guess not having to go to work and just having NOTHING to do is reason enough for that. today's church service left me feeling like an alien to a church i've been attending ever since sec sch, maybe because of the fact that i spent most part of it with people who left eventually, leaving me all by my own. and now, i feel like leaving too. somewhere i can forget, start afresh, but still experience the same God, because, it really IS all about him no matter where u go isn't it? of course. whether u end up single all your life (so far) or not, it's all planned out by Him, isn't it? sigh. maybe it's just me to be so pessimistic about the whole bgr thing, but honestly i can never see myself being more than just a "friend" to someone of the opposite sex. sure, we can be GOOD friends (i have a few actually, and i treasure them greatly), but nothing more, cos i just know nothing good can come out of it. it's just me. or maybe i'm just afraid. of the almost inevitable ending. again. pessimism at it's best. who knows, maybe i'm just putting the blame on Him for this. i hate myself.

Gabrielle - Out of Reach
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

beautiful song isn't it? gets to me everytime.

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/25/2006 01:31:00 am

~.* innocence *.~

Sunday, September 24, 2006

*[[ O.O ]]*

haha. what a joke. a mahjong idiot got 72tai. meaning a multiplier of 72. dun ask me how that happened tho. xD

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/24/2006 09:57:00 pm

~.* innocence *.~

Friday, September 22, 2006

*[[ I WISH! haha. ]]*

christopher kwok --

[noun]:

A person who has the ability to be invisible

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/22/2006 11:52:00 pm

*[[ a helluva beeee-zeeeee week part 2 ]]*

just got back from class chalet and i'm damn tired. not that we did much there, but i spent a whole morning playing playing monopoly with ian and timothy until i got totally bankrupt! damn mayfair. ended up slping for only 2 hours or so that day.

anws got back yesterday and went for band. somehow i managed to get thru el camino's tamborine part after being screwed on tues for the same part. but basically i was getting screwed for almost all e songs. bleah. i can't stand that mei gui song man! argh!

gonna catch the host later with marc and audrey! and then got ensemble practice! at last! i hope dennis will be a fun teacher just like isk was...

and i got e indoor stadium job and going for training next week! audrey and jiemin both got in too! =DD

wishing this hol won't be over so fast......

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/22/2006 11:29:00 am

~.* innocence *.~

Thursday, September 14, 2006

*[[ a helluva beeee-zeeeee week ]]*

lets see. quite a fun week actually!
monday - supposed to have work but last min cancelled while i was accompanying audrey for the "interview" at amoy st.. then went to ang mo kio jalan jalan lols. fun!
tues - crazy busy work, and then band! and then belated celebrations for sam at kfc! fun!
weds - work! not so fun! spent the afternoon watching HOUSE! NICE!
today! (thurs) - seeing isk at airport before rushing to band for meeting. after band watching movie and ton-ing at macs! should be fun!
fri - work again! last day! wahahaha! still not so fun.
sat - phil youth concert! going with marc, jo, mf and william and sam to see huimin, nerak and hong ghee perform. fun!
sunday - imf ushering at german centre! wahahaha good pay! $$ xD

yeps quite a lousy post but i'm in a rush. haha.

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/14/2006 12:15:00 pm

~.* innocence *.~

Monday, September 04, 2006

*[[ a hard night's work ]]*

and finally after almost a whole year, i'm back in the food business, as a waiter of course. this time the restaurant's called "acacia" and it's right smack in the middle of bishan park 2. it's got quite a nice scenary since it's surrounded by the park and a spa right next to it. however the food is quite pricey so be warned! and somehow the whole restaurant is run with only about 2-3 full timers for the service and 1 full timer for cooking. and 1 or 2 indian nationals for the cleaning but thats besides the point. how they managed these 4 years, dun ask me. their working system is slightly different from pasta cafe tho.. for example they dun have a computer system for keying in orders, so our hand writing has to be legible. of course there're more differences but i can't be bothered to list them. i still prefer pasta cafe tho. but one thing is that we didn't need to do any closing duties! i thought i'd have to mop or sweep like as in pasta cafe, but not in acacia. the boss does it himself! he seems to be a nice man, the lady boss half as nice and the other part timer a whole lot more blur than i was. the cook was nice too, making us (me and jo) some supper to let us try the food and also some fries! =D anws i guess we're kinda lucky it wasn't tooo busy, esp when it was hectic in the kitchen already with so many orders coming from the spa's side.
will be working tml night too but without jo this time so i'll see how it goes.. i'm BEAT! =x

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/04/2006 12:20:00 am

~.* innocence *.~

Sunday, September 03, 2006

*[[ the unexpected visit ]]*

somehow, u only miss stuff once u've moved on into the future, isn't it? well i was with jo and she had to meet marcus who was in my alma mater (OP) so i thought, heck, why not, check out what's changed and all esp since they've repainted the whole school purple/maroon!! but i never quite expected myself to end up chatting up with my form tchr ms chang who was in charge of op's band and even ms mary who was having a npcc camp.. just being there in the canteen, reminiscenting and updating myself with the happenings in school, like how the old mr loh is FINALLY retiring next year.. damn i miss my sec 3/4 days and esp my mates.. i wanna relive those days again! but i know i never will.. sigh.

on another note, i got myself a job. waitering again! thanks to jo for the intro! we're starting tml already! w00ts! xD

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/03/2006 12:11:00 am

~.* innocence *.~