~.*innocence*.~

Monday, September 25, 2006

*[[ the result of being "too free" ]]*

it's half past one in the morning and i'm just laying back, chilling out to my playlist and in deep thoughts. i guess not having to go to work and just having NOTHING to do is reason enough for that. today's church service left me feeling like an alien to a church i've been attending ever since sec sch, maybe because of the fact that i spent most part of it with people who left eventually, leaving me all by my own. and now, i feel like leaving too. somewhere i can forget, start afresh, but still experience the same God, because, it really IS all about him no matter where u go isn't it? of course. whether u end up single all your life (so far) or not, it's all planned out by Him, isn't it? sigh. maybe it's just me to be so pessimistic about the whole bgr thing, but honestly i can never see myself being more than just a "friend" to someone of the opposite sex. sure, we can be GOOD friends (i have a few actually, and i treasure them greatly), but nothing more, cos i just know nothing good can come out of it. it's just me. or maybe i'm just afraid. of the almost inevitable ending. again. pessimism at it's best. who knows, maybe i'm just putting the blame on Him for this. i hate myself.

Gabrielle - Out of Reach
Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

beautiful song isn't it? gets to me everytime.

chris was reminiscing @ | 9/25/2006 01:31:00 am

~.* innocence *.~

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